Who am I ?

Hi, welcome to my second post!

I guess for a while each post I write will be a milestone for me. :-) That is quite a good feeling, and I hope you can feel it with me.

Depression has affected absolutely all aspects of my life (sorry if that is stating the blindingly obvious). In my last post, I mentioned the impact on some of the more tangible aspects of my life. However, probably the impact on the less tangible aspects of my life has been of more significance. These aspects seem to be more involved in making me who I am.

I used to have a substantial capacity for feeling compassion and empathy, excellent levels of concentration and a very high level of logical thinking. Now I struggle with greatly reduced levels of all of these. Plus there is my enormous loss of confidence.

In addition, somewhere along the way I appear to have virtually lost my Christian faith. It was a huge part of my life. I do not fully understand how this has happened. It is as though the shutters are down, between me and God. I do not want to be involved. I have read how other people have found their faith a major source of strength and comfort whilst suffering with depression. Unfortunately this has not been my experience. I am wondering whether you have (or had) faith, and have experienced depression – if so, how did the depression affect your faith?

Part of me actually wonders who I am. I know my name! Even if you do not! (lol) That’s not the issue. If I put my name to one side, WHO AM I ?

It seems almost like I am coming out of a very, very deep dark sleep, and that gradually different parts of my life are slowly – very slowly – waking up.

I think that I need to be patient and just take small steps, as and when I have the internal resources and motivation.

Well that’s it from me for now.

Until next time, take care, and thank you.