After two and half years I am free from depression! I no longer feel emotionally dead. My speech has variation in it, and reflects emotion. I no longer move as if in slow motion!
I am finding out that being free from depression does not mean that I am back to my ‘old self’. And I ‘m not being particularly negative, just honest.
Gradually, I’m starting to do things. I’m sorting out papers that were spreading over the floor. I’m watering a new pot plant, instead of leaving it to die like the previous ones. I am reading more – articles – no books yet. I’ve had my parents round for a cuppa tea and cake; first time in over a year. All very positive things.
A few years back, after a period of depression, it took me a long time to recover. I’m using recovery to cover the process between the end of depression, to when I was once again a confident individual. However, I am almost certain that my confidence never did return to how I was prior to being ill.
The recovery, which I’ve just started on, appears to be huge, when compared to previous recoveries. Maybe like comparing a 10k run to a marathon. I think this is because this period of illness has lasted far longer than previously, and also I no longer have a job to return to.
I feel like I have to re-establish much of my life. I happily took redundancy about 4 years ago. When I became ill I was a full-time student, but was not able to continue my studies. My interests have lain dormant for almost 3 years, some friendships have suffered, and some have even fizzled out.
Then there is the affect on the other less tangible aspects of my life. But I think this is enough for one post, so bye for now.
Thank you for visiting my blog and reading this, my very first post! Hoping you visit again.
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What a wonderful first post and I notice this is your first comment. I have recovered from depression myself, like you it was a long journey and there were set backs along the way but I am definitely free of it and have been for several years now, also like you. I found that my friendships suffered, I guess I wasn't fun to be around and I had little interest in life. You'll already know how disabling depression can be. I hope this is the start of a great new chapter in your life. I'll add you to me Google reader and read the rest of your posts - I hope there are many more. You will find quite a few bloggers who write about depression. I hope it helps to know that you are not alone in rebuilding your life and that it is possible. Take care, Rosie.
ReplyDeleteOh Rosie,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much.
It was lovely to see that there was a comment, and what a lovely, encouraging comment it is!
You take care too. Thank you.
:) Good luck.. these things change us forever, but perhaps ultimately for the better? That is my prayer!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Lesley - thank you for stopping by, for your good wishes and prayer!
ReplyDeleteTake Care & do keep posting!